See how much funnier it looks when the compound word is separated? Hilarity ensues! With sexy results!

So the link to Danica McKellar was to a forum whose poster had his bandwidth exceeded. So you can't see any of the full size pictures from there anymore, just the thumbnails. However, I do have something even more impressive to look at.

I was running late yesterday, and having missed the bus by a few minutes, I began walking over to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf where I could loiter for about 45 minutes. But on the way, I noted the fact that the DMV was right there and I did have time to kill. Let's go find out about my license.

In March, after procuring special auto insurance (as a driver, I've got special needs, like the need to plow into someone while my BAC is through the roof; I guess the state doesn't like that) and enrolling with a state-appointed counselor, I was able to get my temporary license.

In May, after finishing the three month program, I was told that I could go to the DMV to get the restriction removed; I had been told only to go between work, home, and the counselor. Of course, if you're a regular reader, you know that I haven't been driving at all because the Cressida decided to have engine problems on the same day as me getting an interlock device installed.

So in June, walking into a DMV office with an air of odd calmness, as opposed to the harrowed expressions of the Thousand Oaks branch's other patrons, I bided my time with iPod in hand and in ear. And when my turn came, they pulled up the report and informed me that I'm not eligible for any license of any kind until one year after my conviction. Meaning the 29th of July.

They explained that when I came in March, they merely submitted my application to Sacramento for review and that I could use the temporary license with restriction on it. However, Sacramento denied my license application on the grounds that the court had imposed the one year suspension.

Here I want to highlight a few things: one, I was able to get an interlock device installed, even though I'm not a licensed driver (I drove to the installation facility). Two, I was able to get car insurance, even though I'm not a licensed driver. And three, I've spoken to my probation officer months ago bemoaning the fact that my car was broken and that I wanted to get a new car, even though I'm not a licensed driver. In the first two cases, I see two companies that just want to make a buck, even if I'm not fully able to make full use of their services. I should have made it so that my deductible was through the roof. But whatever. The fact that my probation officer didn't notice highlights something entirely.

I'm supposed to come in for a face-to-face meeting in July. I had planned on driving there. Now I can't take that chance. I'm sure that, over the phone, she was answering generic questions and paid no heed to the minutiae of my case. However, in that July meeting, I'm sure she'll get a chance to pore over the court documents and invariably ask the question, "Are you driving?" to which I will honestly and abjectly say No.

I've gotten really used to the buses and taxis. Bus drivers recognize me ("Hey, haven't seen you in a while!") and I have a regular driver who actually gives me a discount on the fare. So as I start planning a bus trip into the Valley of the Simi, I'm worried most about one more crucial detail: I still have on more calibration due in early July, before I'm supposed to get my license back. Do I risk the 20 mile drive to maintain compliance to something that might not count anyway?