Man what a ghetto poker party. At least I broke even. And at least I didn't punch a hole in anyone's dry wall. I'm just saying: you gotta count your victories where you can.

The wine we enjoyed at The Madison was a grenache from the Barossa Valley in Australia from a vineyard called Yalumba. That's in case you want to recreate events from this Saturday. Of course, in order to do that properly, also make sure to get an 18-year-old Carmen Electra hostess as well as a Filipino who wouldn't shut up. Okay, get three of them.

Piece of advice for those starting a charcoal fire: don't put too much in. Unless you like fires you can see from space. Then go right on ahead. Just keep in mind that the chicken will char and the meat will still be undercooked. You go, chef. You go.

I'd like to say that I was more fun to be around over the weekend, but I sat and played Playstation while cleaning up around the house and getting minor chores done. So I'd be lying to you if I said I was fun, unless you think replacing sprinkler heads is fun. Then you need the Yalumba more than I do.