By yourself late at night on a large screen TV in high-def that makes you think dangerous thoughts. It brings to mind, obviously, your own inherent failings as a sexual partner. It makes you wonder if there were ever any other occasion when you'd refer to a body part in the third person. It makes you think about how, if you knew hot chicks fiending for coke, you'd be in the same position. And then you have that Friends moment where you're afraid to turn the TV off for fear that it won't come back.

I ended up changing channels out of sheer boredom.