You have no walls
In the thunder crash, you're a thousand minds,
Within a flash
Don't be afraid to cry at what you see
The act is gone, there's only you and me
And if we break before the dawn,
They'll use up what we used to be.

Lord, here comes the flood
We'll say goodbye to flesh and blood
If again, the seas are silent
And any still alive
It'll be those who gave their island to survive
Drink up, dreamers, you're running dry.

Peter Gabriel, "Here Comes The Flood"
---
Coming up the Grade, the sky was clean and empty except for a few thin wisps of cloud that criss-crossed each other, like white kanji on blue paper. I put Atonement down for a second to admire the view, though reluctantly. I'm really impressed by the book so far, but it's been slow reading the past couple of days since I didn't want to take the book with me on my wet jaunts across the Conejo Valley.

My new bunkie is a transfer from county where he was did three months out of a six month sentence. He was on suicide watch the whole time. The thing about people that get sent to furlough on the jail runs is that they arrive with a case of severe culture shock. You're wearing your own clothes, you can take a shower pretty much whenever you want, the facility is relatively clean, the food is better, and the people around you (including the staff) is more relaxed. Compare this to the roach infested confines of a county jail cell, where ten guys share a backwashing toilet, where you must wear the same clothes for three days straight, where your visits are done via telephone across a plane of glass.

I told Mike (my third bunkie in a row with such a name) that County completely dehumanizes and programs you to be without hope. You just go through the daily grind. It's not a rehabilitation process by any means; it instills embitterment and fear. The people that it destroys the easiest are the ones that never relent to the system, the ones that continue to rage against the dying of the light. In order to survive a place like County, you have to surrender yourself mentally and accept the rote absurdity of the life you earned.

In furlough, on the other hand, you are given just enough freedom to allow you to maintain a positive attitude and to continue to contribute to society and to your family. You have just enough freedoms taken away to make you yearn for something better. Nothing will straighten out a criminal like spending time with their loved ones only to see them taken away so that you can make it back in time for an outside the door count. When you only see your little daughter once a week, you have to tell her the white lie that you're in school or you're at busy at work. And when she sees you on visitation and asks you when you're coming home, it breaks your heart to think of the distance between now and your release.