On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection,
"God, please spare me more rejection!"

Ben Folds, "Army"
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Posting a blog entry from home. I have to honestly say that, while I was cleaning my room up a bit, doing laundry and such, I often asked myself if the past five months even actually happened. Was it some weird dream? I always knew that I would have the mental fortitude to surpass that experience: "I took applied mathematics at Caltech for chrissake! This is gonna be easy!"

Yesterday I spent the mornings in Malibu surrounded by my best friends laughing about the inordinate frequency of Dumas at the Duke's brunch table. Glad to be out, but it really wasn't until I stepped into the shower yesterday that it occurred to me the severity of life difference.

I forgot that I had a massaging showerhead, and I stepped into the shower (sans shower shoes!) pelted by high pressure beads of watery goodness. Mmm, liquid relaxation. My brother and I then spent most of the day in Manhattan Beach, loitering the afternoon away until it came time to have dinner at Ragin' Cajun in Hermosa.

Arriving home, the starkest difference was the total stillness. This is the mode in which I like to spend my private moments: no human noises as far as the ear can hear. In the midst of the hourly headcount announcements and the din of hundreds of others inmates around you, I managed to lose connection with my sense of peace and quiet solitude. But, really, some things you don't lose. Some things are set aside to grow a while, and once you pick it up again, you appreciate its full bloom.