The beat pimp, the ill Philly resident
That's far from hesitant, corrupt like a President
Never benevolent but poetically prevalent

The Roots, "Respond/React"
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I made a mistake this morning; you're not supposed to take your keys up to your room with you, but I left them in my pocket as opposed to leaving them in the bank bag where I keep my wallet and cell phone. So I tell the officer on duty that I left my headlight up in my room. She looks at me with such horror, because I'm not supposed to go back once I've checked out (which I was in the process of doing). The reason for this is because I could theoretically bring in contraband from my bag up to my room.

Now, me being an upright individual (who happens to be in a correctional facility, but that's neither here nor there), I wouldn't think of trying to smuggle in contraband, but I know for a fact that it's easy to do. This is just one of the more risky ways to do it. Four times a day, people are called to the control center for bags and meds, which allows inmates to have access to their bank bag or to their medication. It would be possible, for example, during one of those times, to get into your bag for the reason of, say, getting money out of your wallet so you can buy a soda, which is perfectly legitimate. It is also possible during that time to try and sneak your cell phone onto you and bring it up to your room. You have to do it during those times because upon entry from work, or really just from being outside, you have to get patted down.

I made mention in previous posts about your birthday, in which a strip search is randomly done, along with a urine test. This isn't normally an issue here at furlough, where inmates enjoy a great deal of freedom and movement, but the officers have told stories about how in County, inmates have tried to smuggle weapons up their ass. I don't know about you, but I've never been pissed off at someone so much that I'd smuggle something up my ass to try and use it on them. But then again, I'm not the type to get myself locked up in County.

Coming from visitation at the park, you must be patted down. Going outside for recreation on Saturdays, you must be patted down. Even coming back from the chow hall having done kitchen duty, you must be patted down. The exception is during trash cleanup, when the group of individuals is very small, and the officer has an eye on them at all times, but most chores or activities that involve inmates going outside, they must be patted down upon re-entry.

There are more subtle ways to bring in contraband. Often times, it's the officers' fault; I've stood at the control desk waiting to get patted down, but the time that I arrive from work (around 6:15pm) coincides with the start of the drug treatment classes, and so there's a bit of a hubbub and it's easy to get lost in the shuffle. Regardless, I've sometimes found myself ignored and forgotten, or if they didn't forget to pat me down, they forgot to search my jacket and backpack.

Another way is to hide your item of choice in the toe of your shoe. Normally, as part of the pat-down process, you have to pick up your shoe by the toes and tap the heels together to prove that there's nothing in it; you could, however, squeeze the toe while picking it up to keep your item hidden while you tap the heels together.

Fortunately, this morning was guarded by one of the nicer batch of officers, combined with the fact that I've been there for six months and haven't gotten in trouble since my dominoes incident. I think the lesson to be learned here is: keep your keys where you can find them.