But today you're so low
Ain't it times like these
that make you wonder if you'll ever know
The meaning of things as they appear to the others
Wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers
Don't you wish you didn't function
Don't you wish you didn't think
Beyond the next paycheck
And the next little drink
Well you do, so make up your mind to go on,
'Cause when you woke up this morning, everything you had was gone.

Alabama 3, "Woke Up This Morning"
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Any ideas that I was strong enough to handle this mess alone was instantly dashed when I regained the ability to use my cell phone, called Heather and tried to leave a message, but couldn't because I started bawling once I heard her voice on the answering machine. There will come a time when I can vaguely saunter myself awake some idle Saturday morning and look over and see Heather still asleep. I'll close my eyes and lightly doze until slumber loosens its hold on Heather and she smiles and throws an arm around me before returning to Dream's grip. I'm going to rest easy in those minutes, knowing that I will have earned every fucking one of them.

I hope these mornings get better. I woke up and rode my bike to the bus stop, not taking long at all, givng me time to study the posted routes for that afternoon. The express bus cruised past the 23, and I'm hoping that the next twenty-two weeks or so go by as fast as the previous. I'll post more later about my living conditions. I'm hoping to get a provisional license so that I can stop being subject to the bus route's schedule, and maybe I can sob like a little girl in the privacy of my own interlocked car.